Confession: This post is exactly two weeks overdue.
At Valentine’s Day, I gathered some perspectives on love from women at three different stages of life: a newlywed, a seasoned wife, and a single lady. I did some homework, asked for input on my questions… and then spent Valentine’s Day burying my grandpa.
But love is never out of season. And anyway, what’s two weeks? I want to share with you today the advice these three women gave me.
Please meet The Newbie, Jeanie… a spunky, practical miss who left her home community to marry Daryn just over a year ago. Jeanie is always game: flexible, easy-going, and competent.
Please meet The Stalemate, Amy… which is a joke between her and her husband and I and my husband. “Tell us about young love… ours is stale.” Laughter. Amy has been married 22 years, and is mother to five children ages 2-19. She’s taught me a lot about gracious femininity.
Please meet The Unattached, Sharon… an insightful, courageous lady who lives in a little white house of her very own. Here you may read her blog or order her book, To Have and to Hold.
Says Jeanie:
- At this stage of life & love, I try to remember that… We probably won’t have this much flexibility again (to spend this much time together, doing whatever we want whenever we want) till we’re old grandparents and lonely for the grandkids to come over. So live it up! and just enjoy each moment. (Monday night I surprised him with a picnic supper and we went to Woodcock dam, just for something different. Variety is the spice of life!)
- I wish someone had told me… I would be so temperamental after I got married. 🙂 And that the best way to resolve any hard feelings is to talk to my husband about them ASAP instead of trying to fix it myself.
- The best part about our relationship is… It gets better every day! (I know that sounds cliché, but it’s true and I don’t know how else to say it.) The more we get to know each other, the better it gets. The deep connection that we have is sooo priceless! I think my favorite aspect of marriage is the companionship–somebody there all the time to live life with you!
- We celebrate Valentine’s Day by… He gets me flowers (which I LOVE!), we exchange cards, and then we go out to eat or watch a good movie. Just have a fun, candlelit evening! (That’s if I have sufficiently hinted to the husband that Valentine’s Day is coming up. 🙂 ) Marriage is great!
Says Amy:
- At this stage of life & love, I try to remember that… our differences complement each other. I DO NOT want a husband like me.
- I wish someone had told me… that the giddy, heady feelings of a dating romance do not continue, no matter how much married couples try to say they do.
- The best part about our relationship is… we have had the years and opportunity to get way down deep in each other’s souls.
- We celebrate Valentine’s Day by… remembering what the other person did or was that created the giddy, heady feelings during dating. And realizing that they still do and are those things, in so many ways.
And says Sharon:
I wish someone had told me…
- …that a single lady’s Valentine’s Day will produce wildly varied experiences.
- …that some February 14 journal entries will bemoan my single status, others will be strangely blank, and still others will be bursting with joy.
- …not to frequent a restaurant on Valentine’s night.
- …that single school teachers will have young admirers who generously shower their “valentine” with flowers, candy, notes and cards.
- …that Valentine’s Day can make a single feel as awkward as a gangly teenager.
- …that singles can find safer places to celebrate Valentine’s Day than at a couples’ banquet (even when a singles’ table was prepared as a thoughtful gesture).
- …to accept that I am not a “couple,” but neither am I confined to the joys of a couple.
- …to start a tradition of eating chocolate-covered strawberries!
- …that many simple pleasures can fill my cup on this red calendar date.
*****
What advice would you offer from your own experience of love?
Do you have any questions to ask these three women?
I find Amy’s words especially comforting and encouraging.
This was such a pleasure to read! Jeanie, you are right when you say you need to revel in today’s flexibility!