Husband takes Wife to Red Lobster. This is a rare and special gift, just they two and all the cheddar bay biscuits they can eat.
Amid the fish and the shrimp, the magnificent baked potato and the fresh Caesar salad, the lemon and the garlic and the fizz, Wife glances out the window past the sea grass and sees the answer—the workable solution to it all.
Now Wife does not particularly like K-Mart either. She suspects they do the same things as Wal-Mart, only with considerably less finesse. But she does not know this for certain, and the ox is in the ditch, and this once…
Would you like to take me to K-Mart to buy gray socks? says Wife.
YES!! says Husband.
So the story ends happily, $8 for a pack of six pairs, thick, holeless and above all, gray. Wife notices they have a red pinstripe across the toe, but Husband seems to be okay with this aberration.
PS Endless shrimp for $14.99 right now, folks—a beautiful route to resolving marital differences.
PS2 And I think you all were perfectly sweet to suggest so many alternate choices for me. (This makes me feel pleasantly teenage and gushy—perfectly sweet.)