The little how-to that couldn’t

Food / Saturday, December 15th, 2012

Confession: I can’t figure out how people do how-to videos. I mean for me, they just don’t!

Here. I’ll show you one, entitled How to Cut a Cake into Layers Using a Thread. This one I team-played with Aarick, him manning the camera while I ad libbed. The finished video result (shown here unedited) leaves me laughing till I cry.

We note—

  1. The anxious glances cast at the cameraman as the demonstrator walks onstage. Are we live?
  2. The very lopsided line of string on the initial cut, indicating the almost total lack of built-in level possessed by the demonstrator.
  3. The surprise upon discovering the agony of the cake, how it pulls inward from the force of the thread. This is not what we anticipated. (What, you think I should have practiced? I only had one cake…)
  4. The necessity of taking a much, much firmer hand with the thread.
  5. The fumbling for words. “You’ll feel a Snip when the cake is fully cut.”
  6. The way the demonstrator hastily replaces the top layer of cake, once cut, so viewers won’t have time to observe the ragged edges.
  7. The gradual yet inevitable disintegration into total failure. Snap. Snap. Snap. Calm face in demonstrator, inward panic. Okay, you can turn it off.

Moral: Do not try this at home. By all means, cut your cake with a KNIFE.

So what was I doing with an angel food cake anyway? I’ll tell you. It’s a Christmas recipe of my mom’s, and requires only three ingredients:

  • An angel food cake (Snitch a pan from your friend and a mix from the store, like me… or just buy the thing already baked.)
  • Half a bag of Starlite mints
  • A very, very large carton of Cool Whip

Slice cake into three layers, (not quite) as demonstrated.

Place mints into blender, and crush till very fine. Allow dust to settle before opening lid!

Soak ¼ cup crushed candy in ½ cup water for half an hour or so, stirring occasionally. The water will turn bright pink, and mint flavored. Drizzle 2-3 Tbsp. of this homemade mint extract on each layer of your cake before frosting.

Spread each layer and all sides liberally with Cool Whip, and dust with dry crushed candy.


And of course, after it was done and my mints were all crushed, I found this cute how-to about baking Starlite mints till they spread out and become moldable. I don’t get the mint-cherry combination of the accompanying recipe, but check out the classy garnish!

Many thanks to me mum, both for the recipe and for the tip about slicing the cake with a piece of thread. She says it works. I say, prove it.

17 Replies to “The little how-to that couldn’t”

  1. Hmmm… “This video is currently unavailable” even though it did show a picture of the beautiful wanna be demonstrator.

    I love anything with peppermint. My mom did it the easy way layered it with peppermint ice cream and covered with cool whip of course.

  2. Oh, my! Thank you for giving me something to laugh about while I sit here waiting for my man to get home from work. Your “losing weight” comment was great!

    By the way, when I make cinnamon rolls, I use floss to slice them. I wonder if that would work better for your angel food cake than thread? Better luck next time!

  3. The distress of that corseted cake was sooooo funny. I hauled half the family to my computer to view it. It gets funnier each time you watch it!

  4. I can’t tell you how hard Josh and I laughed over this! I could feel everything you were feeling just watching it: The tenseness, the panic, the “When do I tell my kid to cut the camera?” I have this crazy urge to watch it over and over again and laugh myself silly. Three cheers to you for actually showing it. I would have stuffed it down a gopher hole.

  5. I vote for the waxed dental floss for cutting the cake, and I was thinking as you were cutting the cake, you maybe should have started with the bottom cut first…why would I think that? loved the weight loss comment!! I noticed it gained it all back very quickly with the “Snip” when it was cut completely through! Loved this little cooking demo, and the cake does look delish!! I’ll have a slice thanks!

  6. Watching that cake shrink and expand was hilarious! I admire your ability to poke such fun at yourself in public. Thanks for the laugh. On a gray day of coming down sick, it was therapeutic!

  7. You’re so brave! =)
    I use thread to cut normal cakes and cinnamon rolls, and found that quilting thread works best. In a dark color so you can find the pieces if it breaks. 😉

  8. I laughed till I cried! I’m with Jean. I don’t think I would have been brave enough to actually post something like that of myself. So funny

  9. I love that you can laugh at yourself! A different type of thread would’ve worked better, but to be honest, a knife works just fine 🙂 We use a piece of (clean) fishing line to cut huge chunks of cheese, it’s possible that would work for the cake as well.

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