The little how-to that couldn’t

Confession: I can’t figure out how people do how-to videos. I mean for me, they just don’t!

Here. I’ll show you one, entitled How to Cut a Cake into Layers Using a Thread. This one I team-played with Aarick, him manning the camera while I ad libbed. The finished video result (shown here unedited) leaves me laughing till I cry.

We note—

1. The anxious glances cast at the cameraman as the demonstrator walks onstage. Are we live?
2. The very lopsided line of string on the initial cut, indicating the almost total lack of built-in level possessed by the demonstrator.
3. The surprise upon discovering the agony of the cake, how it pulls inward from the force of the thread. This is not what we anticipated. (What, you think I should have practiced? I only had one cake…)
4. The necessity of taking a much, much firmer hand with the thread.
5. The fumbling for words. “You’ll feel a Snip when the cake is fully cut.”
6. The way the demonstrator hastily replaces the top layer of cake, once cut, so viewers won’t have time to observe the ragged edges.
7. The gradual yet inevitable disintegration into total failure. Snap. Snap. Snap. Calm face in demonstrator, inward panic. Okay, you can turn it off.

Moral: Do not try this at home. By all means, cut your cake with a KNIFE.

So what was I doing with an angel food cake anyway? I’ll tell you. It’s a Christmas recipe of my mom’s, and requires only three ingredients:

• An angel food cake (Snitch a pan from your friend and a mix from the store, like me… or just buy the thing already baked.)
• Half a bag of Starlite mints
• A very, very large carton of Cool Whip

Slice cake into three layers, (not quite) as demonstrated.

Place mints into blender, and crush till very fine. Allow dust to settle before opening lid!

Soak ¼ cup crushed candy in ½ cup water for half an hour or so, stirring occasionally. The water will turn bright pink, and mint flavored. Drizzle 2-3 Tbsp. of this homemade mint extract on each layer of your cake before frosting.

Spread each layer and all sides liberally with Cool Whip, and dust with dry crushed candy.

Yum.

And of course, after it was done and my mints were all crushed, I found this cute how-to about baking Starlite mints till they spread out and become moldable. I don’t get the mint-cherry combination of the accompanying recipe, but check out the classy garnish!

Many thanks to me mum, both for the recipe and for the tip about slicing the cake with a piece of thread. She says it works. I say, prove it.