Word Salad
Courage is the right word for 2024, and sometimes it feels disrespectful to go on.
cancer
My mother
Confession: There is a whole new level of pain and beauty involved in seeing your mother without her hair. It was such pretty hair, long and thick and shining white. I miss it, and I miss the part of her that is not the same without it. The first time she took off her hat
Call back later
Confession: When my phone rang at 5:44 Monday morning, I thought it was the alarm, and groggily I punched around on its face a few times until it finally stopped. That is how I sent a text template to Faith Builders Christian School (calling to inform parents of a two-hour delay), saying Sorry, I’m busy.
Tribute to a childhood friend
Dear Naomi, We first met over a cat. Four cats, to be precise, darling little mewling things with a sign that said “Free.” I fell instantly in love with them. We were at an autumn barn social, as I recall, where we bobbed for apples and ladled cider out of a brand new toilet (whose
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Out and about
You’ll never guess where I am right now. Yes ma’am. Down Virginia way. The unbelievable mercy of Jesus, that’s what I call it— That she is well enough to sit up, to eat fried chicken, to laugh at my jokes. That I was provided with a complimentary ride to Virginia on Monday, and a complimentary
Red
Confession: You already know this about me–sometimes I write about caterpillars when I can’t write about cataclysm. My grandfather is dying today (my only grandpa, pillar around which my earliest memories twine), and my sister is in the ER for the third time in a week (my only sister, oh my sister). I hold this
Learning about dissonance
Confession: Tulips are my favorite flower, at least in the spring. I love their shape and I wish my life were all yellow but it’s not. There has to be that d-rn red one in there, the one that shouts at you when you want to look at the rest. Sickness. Depression. Failure. My sister
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Jean
Confession: I have the coolest, funniest, bravest sister in the world. I talked with her for an hour today, and she had me howling with laughter over her stories of chemo side effects. Later this afternoon, she cut her hair to donate to Wigs for Kids before she loses it. From her I am learning that