Confession: Yesterday I walked out of a restaurant without paying.
This is not a joke. And nobody else paid either.
I just forgot.
It was a little coffee shop where I went to get a drink with my mom and my daughter. Because our drinks weren’t all ready at the same time and because they were busy, they said “Oh, just sit down. We’ll bring your drink out and you can settle up when you’re finished.”
We nibbled biscotti and sipped a bit.
And I walked out.
At 2:30 that afternoon I woke up from a nap, la-de-da, la-de-da—oh my word, what have I done? I just knew. Suddenly knew. I’d become a shoplifter. Horrified, I called the coffee shop. Um. I walked out this morning without paying. Can I come in and settle up?
Sure, okay; thanks for calling.
It was only last summer that I got stopped for speeding for the first time ever, so as you can see my career as a lawbreaker is really ramping up. What should I take up next, do you think? Forging checks? Jaywalking? Rumshpringa?