Rural legend #1: Pastor’s wives are perfect.
Rural legend #2: Christian moms don’t yell.
Rural legend #3: God is silent.
Rural legend #4: The true-blooded lady is prepared for every situation.
Believe it or not, this is the myth with which I tortured myself during my teenage years.
Last Saturday morning I went out for breakfast with friends, and when I ordered my eggs—over medium—I had a little flashback. I remembered ordering breakfast out for the first time, as an adolescent.
Our family went out to eat fairly often, and I was used to ordering for myself, but generally lunch or dinner; rarely breakfast. I was ordering along, innocently enough, when my waiter interjected this simple question: How would you like your eggs?
Nothing in my past or present history gave me the slightest inkling of how to meet this situation. How would I like my eggs??
So I stammered.
Uh, well, I guess just. regular…
For the rest of my life, the phrase over medium is engrained into my psyche, burned there by the memory of a situation I was unprepared for. Over medium. That is how I like my eggs.
In truth, I just like eggs. Scrambled. Poached. Boiled hard or soft. Just eggs. White and yellow orbs. From a chicken. That is how I like them.
A true-blooded lady may (or may not) be equal to any situation, but she cannot be prepared for every situation, because she has not faced every situation before. When she tries to avoid shame at all costs, she ends up a) slanting her experiences, and b) missing a lot of fun.
When I was a teenager, I worked hard to bring impeccable grace into every situation. And I am still stuck with this aura, my friends tell me, of looking like I’m inscrutable and put together when I’m actually awkward and desperately uncomfortable.
I am changing. The thing I want to take with me into every situation is no longer impeccable grace, but flexibility and a great deal of humor. It’s more fun.
How do you like your eggs?