Confession: Everything I know about life, I learned from my goat.
What? You thought from my sisters? That was last month, for heaven’s sake.
Lesson 1: Jump all over everyone you love. They’ll be speechless. With delight, of course!
Lesson 2: Adopt a mother who is not of your species. “When my billy and my nanny forsake me, then the Zooks will take me up.”
Lesson 3: Run from anything that’s four years old.
Lesson 4: If you’re hungry, tell the world about it. Good things come to those who bleat.
Lesson 5: When you’re walking with a loved one, by all means walk as close to him as possible. Dodging in, around, and partially beneath his feet is particularly endearing.
Lesson 6: If it doesn’t look edible, it probably is.
Lesson 7: Entanglements are meant to be enjoyed. Have at them. They create interesting puzzles for those who rescue you later.
Lesson 8: If a door is open, walk through it.
Lesson 9: Conversely, if a door is not open, walk through it too.
Lesson 10: If you have to use the bathroom, use it now.