How I Go To Bed


Life around home / Wednesday, February 17th, 2021

I’m sure you have been dying to know.

How I Go to Bed:

I feed the baby one last time and pat her and pat her until she rewards me with one of her man burps. I put her to bed. I let my dogs outside to do their business, and pen them in their crates. I go upstairs and slip into my pajamas. I take all the pins out of my hair and braid it loosely and fasten it with an elastic. I brush my teeth and decide if I’m going to wear their retainer tonight. I get out my medicine and drink it down with water. I fetch some lotion and rub it on my hands and legs. If I have an early event scheduled for the morning, I lay out my clothes for tomorrow. I reset my alarms because they change each night depending on the baby’s feedings, and I plug in my phone and put it by my pillow. I might send a last message. I might check on the children, sleeping in their rooms. I pull back the covers and remember something I forgot downstairs, so I go do that too. I come back upstairs and take off my slippers and at last – I get into bed.

How My Husband Goes to Bed:

He takes off some clothes and gets in.

I wish I knew his secret.

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Mom Coblentz
9 months ago

Totally losing it over here!!!

Uncannily similar to another household I am familiar with!!!

Mim
9 months ago

Sounds similar to my bedtime routine and by the time I’m done my husband is sleeping and he wasn’t even showered before I started! One thing is that I have to take one child potty before I go to bed so why lay down before I do that and then I feed the baby so that I can try to get three hours of sleep before I do that again!

misadvg9
9 months ago

I howled with laughter, and read it aloud to my husband who agrees that this sounds very similar to our own house every night.

Bethany
9 months ago

So TRUE. I wonder – is this a universal phenomenon?

Bethany Eicher
9 months ago
Reply to  Bethany

Our youngest is almost eight, so obviously times have changed from the days of getting little ones settled, but the nights we don’t go to bed at the same time are verrrry rare! Now I’m curious if we really are so odd??

9 months ago
Reply to  Bethany Eicher

Oh, we arrive in bed about the same time – I just need a running start. ????

Bethany Eicher
9 months ago
Reply to  Shari

Ahhh. That makes more sense! I was becoming concerned for all of your marriages!! LOL

9 months ago
Reply to  Bethany Eicher

???????????? I could hear it in your voice, and I would be too! ❤️

9 months ago
Reply to  Bethany

I’m guessing it’s more a personality thing… ????There are couples for whom it’s reversed, for sure.

I wasn’t expecting to see a pattern here of people who identified! I was just describing us, and thinking we were weird. ????

Martha Byler
9 months ago

I howled also and read it to my husband! His comment, “sounds familiar”

Doris Martin
9 months ago

Thanks for my morning chuckle…or maybe its guffaws!!! I think perhaps you have identified a scientific law of some sort or the other!!! ha

Lovina
9 months ago

I have been excepted from this law by being married to a dairy farmer who checks his livestock before going to bed… Pretty much evens things out for us. ????

Becki
9 months ago

Ha! well just to set the record straight, it is NOT this way in every household. I laugh because I go to bed exactly like your husband, I think of bed, I get in bed, I become horizontal, I sleep. 😉 Meanwhile my husband, as I tell him, unwinds while he gets ready for bed. Along with him being the one who needs to check his blood and get a snack if he needs, I also think it is part of his personality. And falling asleep quickly is part of mine 🙂 So there now you have it.

Kim
9 months ago
Reply to  Becki

YES!!! Thanks for the laugh! ????

Patricia
9 months ago
Reply to  Kim

This is hilarious???? I too read it to my husband..sounds quite familiar..I’m an unwinder…..had to think about this last night after I finally made it to bed and crawled in beside my sleeping hubby…I hear a noise and go out to check about the children..climb back in…realize THERE IS a noise above me and go up to find our 7 year old birthday boy just wide awake with his light on preparing to eat some smarties he had gotten at school..????he was still awake due to all the sugar he had from candy from school and root beer from his birthday supper so I gave him a children’s melatonin ( which by the way are amazing) and then FINALLY crawled back under the covers AGAIN…????????

9 months ago

Apart from setting out my clothes and obsessing about food for the next day (Will I need to get bread going as soon as I get up? Does something need to be defrosted overnight?) I pretty much just crawl in and die to the world. It takes the others in my household longer to unwind, but I find I’m so bushed that bed is my favourite place to be at that time of day. No unwinding required.

Gladys
9 months ago

This makes me think of the difference between owls and larks. Also early to bed, early to rise. I can tell you many reasons that is not better than late to bed.

Joanna Yoder
9 months ago

I just read this to my husband, who was already tucked into bed, having decided no more than ten minutes prior that it was time to retire. He nodded his head in agreement and is already asleep.???? I, on the other hand, started dreaming of bedtime two hours ago, and preparing for it in earnest one hour ago, and still have half a dozen items to check off my mental list before I’ll climb in beside him. And then it will STILL take me 15 minutes or more to actually fall asleep. It’s exasperatingly amusing, but after nearly 21 years, I’ve accepted the fact that this is just the way it shall ever be. I think a contributing factor of it for us, is that for 13 years of our married life, he didn’t get home from work until after I was in bed or ready to crawl in. (To his credit, he has started doing several of the things that I used to always do, so it doesn’t take me quite as long as it did at one time.)

Joanna Yoder
9 months ago
Reply to  Joanna Yoder

My phone formats the comment section so oddly. My comment was intended to be in reply to your post, Shari, not in reply to Mim’s comment on it. Dumb smartphone.????

Crystal
9 months ago

This made me grin. Our routines are not quite as uneven as yours but my husband gets there before me 98% of the time even though I start before he does!
I’m still trying not to be annoyed about this. Maybe one day I’ll grow up or appropriate grace more fully in this area of my life too?

LRM
9 months ago

Men may work harder than women, but it’s probably usually easier (she said trying to cover her bases) for men to stop for the day than it is for women. Your post reminds me of Jean Little’s couplet, which acknowledges that a woman’s work is never done. LRM

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1363487-a-man-can-work-from-sun-to-sun-but-a

9 months ago
Reply to  LRM

Haha – “probably” “usually” got me. 🙂 This is great.

Sherilyn
8 months ago

A few minor adjustments and you have described how my husband and I get ready for church every Sunday morning. Someday I want to be just like him.