The Daily Lampoon

From Meadville, Pennsylvania, this is Omi Werd reporting.


The staff and team members at Confessions were blown away last week by heavy winds of unprecedented interest. Mrs. Zook, author of Confessions, stated herself both “delighted” and “a little overwhelmed” as page views temporarily skyrocketed and comments flew thick and fast. Zook wishes to thank the community for its [mitigated] support and [unmitigated] patience during this time.

Both agreement and disagreement were eloquently voiced online, with some readers participating in a discussion thread on the topic. “The community really came together,” says Zook.

“I expected to strike, you know, a very small nerve,” said Zook in a statement to reporters, “but this has taken me completely by surprise.” Pleasant voices of agreement were appreciated, as were pleasant voices of dissent, and our first hit-and-run commenter added an authentic and delightful twist. Says Zook, “My writing has been called many things, both complimentary and uncomplimentary, but ‘whiny rhetoric’ is a new one. Totally dig it!”

When asked where she wants to go from here, Zook mentioned upcoming plans for titillating posts on birthday cakes and bar stool cushions. “So we’ll definitely keep the excitement rolling. There’s plenty more where that came from.”

Until then, the Zooks can be reached at their local bomb shelter.

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9 years ago


9 years ago

For a realistic appearing news article you must always include a couple grammatical or spelling errors and don’t forget to misquote yourself.

9 years ago
Reply to  Travis

I am sure I never said hlaf the things they say I did…

9 years ago
Reply to  Shari

Ha-ha! Great post and the comments are just as entertaining!

9 years ago


9 years ago

Grinning. . .

9 years ago

Hee hee. I thought to myself when reading some of the comments, that I sure hope Shari has thick skin…and that you did well in repartee with some of the commenters. Brave girl!

9 years ago

I have read this series with interest. Grinning over here! 🙂

Mama Zook
9 years ago

Just LOL!! Amazing woman she is!!

Jo Yoder
9 years ago

I’ve got a goofy grin on my face. Love your sense of humor!

9 years ago

This was a great series– and one we gave to the “single man” in our life!! 😉 All weekend we helped look for “women” rather than “hot chicks”. All in fun (or mostly). And it looks like you’re gonna have to update your “top ten posts”. Have fun with all those comments!!

9 years ago

Rolling in a serious fit of laughter over here.

9 years ago

Hope the bomb shelter gets tiresome soon and you feel safe venturing out. LOL. Loved reading your posts.

9 years ago

I’m registering a complaint.

When you write fascinating posts, they show up at the top of Feedly. And my husband reads them. And then they are deleted from my Feedly since he can’t mark them unread on his phone.

And I never see what everyone else is reading and discussing.

Until a week later. When my husband confesses what he has done.

But…then I get the fun of reading all the comments and the whole series all at one shot.

So all is well again.

And I’ll pull my complaint.

And hope you keep writing.

And that I can beat my husband to your posts the next time you are on a roll.

Love your bravery!

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