Rural legend #1: Pastor’s wives are perfect.
Rural legend #2: Christian moms don’t yell.
I thought this one was true for a long time, because my own excellent mother apparently did not. I have no memories of her yelling, and when I began to shout at my kids, I was horrified. What was happening to me?
Confession: I have a private life of anger.
I am mad every day of my life, about something or other. I have fought this old devil and cried and prayed, and this fall my husband said to me I don’t think you will get victory over it until you are willing to talk to someone about it.
So I made one of the hardest phone calls of my life. I called my pastor’s wife and asked to talk. I wasn’t afraid of her, what she would say; I was afraid of me, what I must say. I was afraid to talk about what I wanted to hide, how bad things get when I lose it.
I chose her because she’s been a mom too, and because I wanted her to push me to change. I asked to stop by and talk for an hour that morning. I knew I’d lose my nerve if I waited.
She responded with warmth and grace to my request. Sure—I’ll be here all day. Come on over. I’ll be helpful in any way I can…
When I drove in her lane, she met me at the door. She made us creamy coffee and then let hers get cold, listening. She set aside all the time I needed, she shared her own stories, she prayed.
I could not think of it for weeks afterward without tears stinging my eyes. Satan told me that I was the blackest of moms, not fit to be called a Christian if I could not win in this area. She told me that I could get up and try again. She told me that she knows what it’s like, that she believes in me.
You see, some Christian moms yell.
Some Christian moms lust.
Some Christian moms self-indulge.
Some Christian moms are lonely.
What is your private life? You don’t have to confess it superficially to many. You need to confess it deeply, to someone.
Human beings were not meant to keep secrets. When we tell them, we rob them of power.