And other days…


Life around home, Walking with Jesus / Thursday, September 20th, 2012

Confession: I listened to the Accuser today.

Ryan and I stayed up late having a difficult financial conversation, and I finished it by asking him an equally difficult question on beauty (what? I thought it fit…) and he answered all wrong and fell asleep. I lay awake stewing until my thoughts began to swirl into foggy nonsense and I rolled over and slept too.

I awoke with a hangover of anger and self-pity, convinced of personal ugliness and universal futility.

A sense of disaster and lethargy followed me all day.

My toddler wet herself at least four times. My kids had a blow-up in the check-out lane (again) while we ran a quick errand for milk and eggs. My hair looked like someone roosted in it. I slept the afternoon away with my children, and couldn’t get my laundry done till evening. I ran out of shortening after baking the cookies and before making the frosting. (Why couldn’t that have hit my radar prior to the grocery run?) My baked goods stuck to the cookie sheet. My spatula broke. And my whole yard reeked to high heaven because a local skunk apparently had heart failure or won a gold medal or copulated—leastways overexcited himself somehow.

By this time I was wishing to trade places with Regan’s goldfish–the one who comes to the surface lively enough for meals, and spends most of his remaining time with his head buried in gravel.

Here is what I listened to today.

You’re so ugly.

You can’t get anything done.

It’s no good.

See? He doesn’t love you.

You’re inadequate and incompetent.

Your children have the table manners of pigs.

Look at all that junk.

Why can’t you stay on top of things?

In fact, probably everyone hates you behind your back.

You’re not a good hostess either—how long has it been since you invited people over?

Fortunately, in that moment the Enemy overreached himself and it became funny. My, my. What a wide range of experience we are discussing. How inapplicable to today’s mission are your accusations, Grandmother.

However the Lord Jesus wants to push me to growth, spiritual maturity, and achievement, He will not do so with denunciation. It simply wasn’t His voice, and I’m done listening.

The hardest lies of Satan to combat are the ones with so much truth twisted into them.

I cling to Jesus as darkness falls, and hope for better things tomorrow.

Revelation 12:10, 11–“Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.

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Janelle Glick
10 years ago

Oh, dear Shari. This post I really do like. I had a day much like yours today, except in mine, I got red paint on a pristine white ceiling.

10 years ago

Love it. thanks!

10 years ago

As usual, great post. I think we’re all guilty of listening to The Accuser from time to time, especially inadvertently. If one thing this post did, it made me more conscious of it and when things start getting intertwined with the truth (great analogy, by the way), I hope I can get a grip and remember it’s not HIM who is denouncing me. You’re adorable – thanks for this.

Rachel
10 years ago

I had to chuckle (and sigh!) because it must be so with all men! HOW can they roll over and fall asleep when it is so obvious I am NOT ok??? I translate that to mean “you are not important enough for me to stay awake” and thus starts the landslide of “he never would have fallen asleep on me when we were dating! How can he be so selfish?” Aaaand you know how the rest of the story goes! After Im done with my pity-party, I chide myself. How can I demand such perfection from him when I dish back the same [disrespect] or even worse.
My personal challenge is not so much in keeping the house in order…I am one of those who will have my life thoroughly organized at all cost. But thats my downfall, the cost can be a really crappy attitude when my organized life takes an unexpected twist or turn. Which of course life gleefully does that very thing every day! So we all have our flat sides, and we all are constantly being refined. Take heart!

Another thing you said…it’s SO true…”The hardest lies of Satan to combat are the ones with so much truth twisted into them.”

10 years ago

That sentence about the skunk had me giggling. I like this whole post. Thank you, again!

10 years ago

Loving this. Understanding it well. Thank you, dear Shari.

Shaunda
10 years ago

I’m laughing because I love your humor and because The Accuser was just plain down confused if he was trying to convince you of that craziness about yourself!

LaDonna Nice
10 years ago

These days I have. “The hardest lies of Satan to combat are the ones with so much truth twisted into them.” So true! Thank you for this reminder…been listening to the accuser a bit to much myself lately….”However the Lord Jesus wants to push me to growth, spiritual maturity, and achievement, He will not do so with denunciation” Love this how I need to remember!

Carla
10 years ago

I laughed in the paragraph about the skunk, but want to cry over all those accusations that sound a lot like things the accuser tells me. Sometimes I’d rather believe all the lies he says than believe the truth that I am loved and beautiful to Jesus and to my husband.

LaDonna Nice
10 years ago

By the way just noticed in reading through the comments that Rachel posted the same quote I did. I really wasn’t trying to be a “copycat”;-) It was just kind of hit me between the eyes.;-)

10 years ago
Reply to  LaDonna Nice

You’re fine, LaDonna. I didn’t even think about it. I love the interplay of ideas in reader responses, the way ya’ll share truth with each other or brainstorm ideas together, but you’re free to say anything you like without reading what everyone else said first to make sure you’re not duplicating! I know you just well enough to be certain you’re an original. 🙂