when i first met her
all i could think was that i didn’t know anyone came in a size that tiny.
i saw one picture of her beforehand
but pictures lie.
she is far more petite (and robust) and darling than I expected.
we prepared in a hurry, with less than a day’s notice
for “medically fragile” –
a baby born weeks ahead of due date, with prenatal challenges
but in the hours before my arrival she weaned herself off the accessories
and when i met her she was eating and breathing and warming herself
all independently.
strong girl.
i was permitted a joy i never anticipated – not only the care of a newborn
but the precious new-mommy days
sharing a room in the hospital where she was born.
they gave me private quarters and brought me my meals and taught me
her tiny-baby-care, how to pace her eating and read her cues.
i spent two days and a night there doing nothing but love on her full-time
(their word for it is “nesting mom”)
and they released her to us, two weeks old.
she is the cutest thing we’ve ever seen
and we treasure the days and all the times until
she can transition to a birth family member, sooner rather than later.
we know what we are setting ourselves up for
(no illusions left that it won’t hurt like dying)
but we also know she’s here by divine appointment for this time, an
utter gift
and i forgot how sweet baby days could be
especially when my body feels so good
not hormonal or sore or postpartum.
she smells like all the angels of heaven –
and the miracle of being allowed to be the ones
to love on this child until her time of need is spent
to love her like our own
while the life-giving cord from another mother falls into my hand
this is a cost
and a privilege
i cannot measure.
i love her.
Aww! Those little preemie days are amazing! Blessings as you love and then let go. ????
What a sweet baby.????
This touches really close home…I was utterly captivated to finally have a new born to love on but at the same time my heart broke for her birth mommy. Baby girl is now almost 3 and we’re forever grateful, our 3rd dau. The love you’re pouring into this baby gives me hope and courage to keep going. God keeps loving. Can I not? ❤️
Absolutely beautiful, the heart and love in this post. Thank you for sharing!
Wow. Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us. I love these lines: to love her like our own – while the life-giving cord from another mother falls into my hand. Joy and pain. So often connected.
She’s beautiful. Wish I could visit & hold her. Bless you for loving on her & letting go when the time comes.
This is the third time I’ve tried to post a comment. Somehow it keeps going away. But I read choking back the tears. Recently I gave a testimony at church saying that I wanted to live my life asking myself the question like that verse, “Shall I tender to the Lord that which cost me nothing?” I was tested on it the very next week when our 13 year old grandson moved in. I especially got choked up when I read your statement that you know what you’re setting yourselves up for. You DO know because you’ve done it before and you’ve survived. We know too because we’ve done this before with a grandchild. But the raw pain and a tremendous joy is still there not knowing which one is the strongest but both are needed.
Prayers!
Mary Yoder
Awwww…..???? Instant case of baby fever going on over here❣️????
Tears came to my eyes, Shari. She is so privileged to have you in this “Sacred dance of grief and joy.”
My heart aches because of the brokenness of our world that causes a mother to give up her baby, and the beauty of a family willingly filling a baby’s heart with love while knowing their own will break at the inevitable parting. “while the life-giving cord from another mother falls into my hand” is so breathtaking I have no words. Blessings and more blessings to you and the little one.
Naww!! ???? As we wait, Lord willing, to hold our little one this month. The longing for that day becomes stronger. Such adorable little one and blessings to you and your family!!
Tears…. Another link of redemption in the raw pain of brokenness… Restoration in the journey of pain and struggle to renewal… Hope in this little bundle of helplessness… Blessings on you and yours, Shari!
So precious!❤️
????
To me this baby represents so many other children who desperately need this kind of love and nurture in their life. What you are doing changes the world and that’s not hyperbole.???? I’m so glad you get to experience the sweetness of a newborn right now.
Divine appointment. Immeasurable cost and privilege.
Thank you for showing me how to love no matter the cost.
She is the sweetest little miracle ever.