In sickness and in health: a short opinion on life in the former

There are human experiences that find relief only in the writing of extremely tacky poetry – the kind that Uncle Joe would read aloud at his great-niece’s wedding, laboring under the impression that he has produced something clever while everyone else ate cake. (“Her mother and father did her adore, Little knowing what lay in store…”)

Thank you for indulging me. I’ve found there is nothing like a bad rhyme to lift the spirits.

A few years ago we vowed sickness and health

But what that entailed I couldn’t have shown ya

The germs staged a coup and attacked us by stealth

The year I had bronchitis and he had pneumonia.


The children were coughing, the fevers were rife.

I said “Hello, doctor? I thought I would phone ya

Hubby says when he breathes he is stabbed by a knife

I bet I have bronchitis and he has pneumonia.”


The comforting thing is that all of this landed

Into the first month of the new year we’ve known

So the rest can’t be worse than the scoop we were handed

When I had bronchitis and he had pneumone.


Unless of course somebody dies and gets buried

Or my mind says Goodbye pal, it’s nice to have known ya

…Or a cannibal sharpens his axe to debone ya

…Or the orthodox church takes a notion to stone ya

…Or the wrecker has an accident right while he’s towin ya

…Or a stranger says Here’s a black backpack to loan ya


All things considered, I’m just not that worried

Since I had bronchitis and he had pneumonia.

Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Heather Nicodemus
6 years ago

Thanks for the belly laugh!

Andrew Schmucker
6 years ago

If you can be this clever and funny in the midst of such deep sickness….I can only say, you truly do have an indomitable spirit! Can I hire you to entertain us the next time we get the flu? I’d pay well. 🙂 Jolynn

6 years ago

The cannibal debonin’ ya is what really tickled my gizzard.

Get well soon!

6 years ago

You need a line about the wheels rolling off the school bus. “a joyful heart is good medicine” and and evident fruit of the Spirit in your life.

Joanna Yoder
6 years ago
Reply to  Carla

Now isn’t THAT the truth! Poor Bill…He told me that after the brakes-lost incident and the wheels-lost incident, he was a nervous wreck on Friday the 13th!

6 years ago

Good poem, good poet, good laugh. Thanks.

6 years ago
Reply to  Marie

I totally agree.

6 years ago

I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was really particularly effective. and er … interesting rhythmic devices too, which seemed to counterpoint the … er … the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the … er … humanity of the … of the poet’s compassionate soul.

6 years ago
Reply to  Shari Zook

I’m angling for a position in the current administration. Plagiarism seems to be a prerequisite on the résumé.

All hail, Ctrl + C & V!

Theresa Knorr
6 years ago


6 years ago

Man, how did I miss this? We’ve had round after round of sickness here…but no bronchitis or pneumonia!

Join the conversation to share your comments.x
Scroll to Top
%d bloggers like this: