Observations on a 13-year-old boy


People / Monday, August 13th, 2012

Confession: All you need to mother a teenage boy is a shooting range, nerves of steel, and about a ton of provender.

We adopted my kid brother for half a week while my parents toured Ireland. Based on this extensive experience, I compiled a list—Traits of Adolescent Boys.

  • They are starving an hour after lunch. They sneak food by the handful, and hope it was okay later.
  • They are endlessly infatuated with water, weapons, and what time it is.
  • They are longsuffering and tenderhearted, kind in unexpected places, wiping the table after they clear it off.
  • They speak with concern of their “acne,” and peer with anxious, pardonable pride at their two lonely pinpricks of red.
  • They are just starting to care about their hair (which always looks exactly the same) and their 6-packs (on skinny brown bodies) and protein shakes and gaining weight.
  • When they hint delicately at who they “like,” they’re both hoping and terrified you’ll ask.
  • They are insufferable when happy, chain-whistling Yankee Doodle at high tempo.
  • They are adept at turning every situation to their own advantage.
  • They leave wristwatches and large wads of Kleenex in the pockets of their laundry. And you will be picking Airsoft BB’s out of the dryer vent for years to come.
  • They can’t wait for what’s next, and are dawg bored now.
  • Met with any animal on the face of the planet, they will tame it or shoot it. Or both.

We’re in for a real ride here in a few years… when we have two around.

Can’t wait!

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Mom Coblentz
9 years ago

Great, Shari!! Enjoy the ride…I’ve lived thru 5 of ’em. 🙂

Renita
9 years ago

Just think, though– they won’t be both 13 at the same time. That’s the only good thing I could think of at the moment. 🙂

Shaunda
9 years ago

Sounds like fun…I can’t wait!!!!

9 years ago

This post cracks me up ~ and “boy” did you hit the nail on the head. It’s a wild ride but it sure is fun (well, mostly). 😉

Cathy M
9 years ago

Love it, Shari. BUT it doesn’t wait until they are 13! Maybe it’s because the 13 yr. old influences the 6 yr. olds. 🙂
Oh for the wisdom to treat them like adults at times and a child at times. It’s a constant seesaw.

Beth
9 years ago

ooooooo, did I ever need this humor right at this time! I couldn’t stop chuckling.

9 years ago

I always said I wanted a household of boys.
Seriously.
I still do. 🙂

mama zook
9 years ago

love it…and I’m pretty sure that the always wanting to know what time it is comes from the fact that they are wondering how close they are to the next meal!