In which I talk in my natural inside-my-brain voice.
Here is how I know we are going to make it, despite cranky mom emerging again in response to endless child demands… and I say child, but I might say toddler, because the behaviors are on that level… “Don’t put that in your mouth, be nice to the dog, stop taking toys away from your sister, sit down please, what a great drawing you made.” Things like that.
Our new kiddos are six and three. They’ve been in and out of our lives for a year and a half now, since spending a month in our home in the spring of 2020. One has a medical diagnosis, psychological diagnosis, and environmental allergy diagnosis. The other is undiagnosed to date but will keep her therapists busy in time to come. Guaranteed.
They are lovable and infuriating, cute and naughty. (Sounds like the rest of our gang, right?)
And we are very busy.
Where was I? Ah yes. As I was saying, though life is stressful and engrossing, I know we are going to make it because I painted a big project last week – a table and chairs for outdoors. We bought it used for $45 before we were married, and finally outgrew it with a family of eight. We upgraded to a nice one someone else refinished, a sturdy long table and two benches and a chair, all for $100, but we were a little too attached to the old one to part with it. So I coated it with outdoor paint to sit on the porch next summer.
It took forever.
And I tried to flip the table over all by myself to paint the underside, and that was a big mistake because I tipped it away from me onto its edge alright, but it was really heavy and when I went to lower it down with the legs pointing up, I lost control of it and fell hard onto its underside, where the metal slides for the extra leaves caught the inside of my wrist and sliced it good, and I got a few other pokes and a row of bruises up my shin. Ouch.
But I got the painting done. I asked Ryan to help me for an hour, because I’m a once and done kind of girl and the hours were getting to me. I bought the paint Monday and thought I’d get it done then. You know. Why not? But I worked on it Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday, and finished just before the rain.
That’s a lot of hours on something that didn’t //have// to be done.
In between I advocated for medication and attended a committee meeting and gave a haircut. I managed four different school, their schedules and fundraisers and parent-teacher conferences times three… and attended a Lysa TerKeurst seminar in Erie with friends. (She was really funny. And doctrinally good. I cried, and laughed a lot too.)
I got cranky about so many things spilled and so many corrections to give, and so much drainage coming out of a three-year-old nose that won’t stop running (allergy testing coming up). I administered a lot of time outs and prayed for grace and slumped some. Sometimes I just wonder if it’s worth it, you know. Why are we putting ourselves through this?
But I actually know why.
And I know it’s a manageable load.
I know it because I baked a pavlova and an apple pie last week, and got time to trim my fingernails. (Even that!)
That’s how I know.