Longing


People / Saturday, August 4th, 2012

Confession: There’s nothing like looking at old pictures for awakening pain.

Today my heart hurts for things that have passed beyond my reach.

  • The Maple Street days, my house clean and organized

  • My three babies—the bright eyes and faces, the velvet skin

  • Cuddles with nieces and nephews far away

  • My sister with hair

6 Replies to “Longing”

  1. I’m weeping. After a long day of chemo side-effects: fatigue, worry, pain, and just general emotional struggle, I lost it when I saw you posted about me. I don’t look back much during this time…pictures especially. Probably ’cause I don’t want to face what I don’t have. I needed this…

  2. Jean, Hang in there. My 14 yo friend with Hodgekins Lymphoma is growing back her hair even though they told her it would be nearly Christmas. Her last chemo was the end of May.
    Blessings!

  3. Blessings to two beautiful ladies, Shari and Jean!! why is it that thinking of how things were and seeing the now brings so much emotion to the heart and this great big lump in the throat makes one feel they are choking? I can walk through this house and see lego city spread out on the floor of the upstairs bedroom with four little people kneeling around it, absorbed by the task of running that great city! days of weeding garden…everyone doing their rows so we can go to the Creek for a swim. Watching three or four children jumping onto the barn swing, one by one, until there’s hardly a rope to hold onto!! I’ve been so blessed to also be able to see the grandchildren enjoying the farm, and it relieves the sadness I feel when I realize it will never be the same…and I will miss it all when we sell and move! I am reminded though that memories are still being made and there will be new ones to hang onto! Life is still happening, and if I’m not careful, I’ll miss the blessings of today and now! Love you, Mama BTW (there’ll come a time when the house will be clean and organized again)

  4. I looked at old pictures 2 days ago, and it brought pain–a different kind–the stab of old wounds. That is what I was thinking when I started reading, but I understand what you are talking about here, too. I’m sorry for your sister’s loss, and the pain it brings for you to see her going through this hard time.

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