Light brown hair

Her world is receding, shrinking into a pale aqua cube with bright lights, lots of cords, an IV drip for every need, and a trio of inhabitants: herself, her husband, and her mother. The hospital staff are waiters and butlers, serving IV’s, checking the cords, and bowing themselves out.

She is receding too. Like a babe in arms she sleeps away her days, needs to burp, eats tiny bites of soft food off a spoon held to her lips, takes trembling steps.

My only sister oh my sister.

IMG_6994She is an angel of wishes, hands clasped, patient face. I am a loving angel–except angel. My magic is gone with my wings; shorn of power to shield.

I never liked it that her hair was lighter than mine, that she was the Mary with golden and I the Laura with brown. No one serenades plain brown hair. Except once when we were small I found in a folk book a song called How I Long for Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair. I hated that, then.

Now she has none.

And I would give—oh worlds


Jesus, my sister.

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11 years ago

Oh Shari – hugs to you! I can only imagine what you are feeling right now…may you feel God holding you close. I’ve been praying.

11 years ago

I truly have no words that would do. Hugs and prayers to you, her, the family, the staff, and all involved. ♥ I know what a helpless feeling this is.

Mama Zook
11 years ago

I do not have words to speak, weeping inwardly today, because I’m babysitting three little ones that would have so many questions if I wept outloud!! And so I choke with the great big lump in my throat, knowing I have no idea…praying without knowing what words to speak…knowing God’s Spirit knows exactly what to say! Wish I were close enough to hug you, Shari! I love you!

Rach (Wengerd) Eicher
11 years ago

I have been eagerly waiting for every update from them… waiting for news of better things. My heart has been hurting with them and you all as you watch her have to go through this. A hug and more prayers….

Sharon Yoder
11 years ago

Poignant reflection that can only be spoken in a painful journey of a sister’s heart. . . I wish we could wrap you in love, Shari, and make all the hurt go away.

11 years ago

I know the pain of seeing a sibling who was once strong and gorgeous lay upon a hospital bed, suffering and shriveled in body…but stills strong in spirit. My heart goes out to you and I pray for her and you all.

11 years ago

Can’t even imagine, Shari. Tears for you, sister.

11 years ago

oh. Tears.
I saw a little cancer patient today, thin and hairless.
I cried for him, for all of them, for all of us.

11 years ago

Jean and all of you have been heavy on my heart and mind so much the last while. So so hard! Love, grace and the presence of Jesus to you!

11 years ago

If I cry too hard I barf… 🙁 I wanted to cry my eyes out. Such beautiful words. Thank-you! I love you!

Coleen Barnhart
11 years ago

That song has been like a stuck record for me these past weeks. If you hear me humming it while I work, you know who I am thinking of and praying for again.

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