In my last post, I said, “There’s been holiday cheer and church grief and a scheduled hospital intake for my foster son. Someday I will tell you more about these things.” My next three posts will wear those titles.
The decorations above are at my sister-in-law’s house. And this post contains an affiliate link.
Here are some holiday highlights from December-January:
- Christmas with my family
- My dad’s hamburgers
- A new foster nephew to meet
- Sweet gifts from people who love us – a plate of homemade cookies, gift cards, a hot chocolate basket
- Caroling for beloved neighbors
- A candy-bar-and-book exchange with extended family – delightful!
- Finishing our family’s Advent calendar. Our highlight is always the drive to look at Christmas lights, in our PJ’s, while eating party mix and cookies
- Traveling to spend time with Ryan’s family
- New Year’s Eve with appetizers, grilled wings, great chips and dip
- Pizza on New Year’s Day
- Watching my children reconnect with their cousins
- Praising God for loved ones’ improved health
Also, I feel like I owe you an honest update on my goals for last year, 2021. Remember this?
Confession time for real.
I lasted about five or six months of this gorgeous plan I set for myself, and then I am sorry to say that three things happened. A) I said good-bye to a child, and the world caved in for a while and I couldn’t remember the point of it. B) A set of painful experiences closed the Bible to me for a time. I heard condemning voices in my head when I tried to read it. C) I realized that Shari is really good at short term goals, really bad at 12-month goals.
So I learned. I took a lick and a promise at some of it, and some I flubbed entirely. I am trying to be both honest and kind here.
Which means that if you’re an old friend and I didn’t reach out to you in June, you’re not alone.
I am gaining back some ground with Scripture. I am trying a mix of:
- Taking a break
- Exploring lesser quoted books like Ezekiel 😉 – actually kind of works
- Listening to the Bible on audio, which helps me focus
- Taking a Bible study overview in a Sunday school class (Search the Word by the Daily Grace Co.)
- Praying through my feelings and resistance
But no big goals for 2022. Instead, I am facing my fears about the coming year by being curious instead of hopeful. That is, by watching to see what comes, instead of naming-and-going-after. I’m finding it difficult to stand in the waiting place of wanting specific things from God, myself, and the other persons in my life. And so I am waiting more openhandedly. It has its challenges and drawbacks, but it’s what I can do for now. Be curious.
I’m not sure if I’m making sense to anyone but myself.
But here I am, watching to see what comes.
How are you facing 2022?
Sara Hagarty in her group Soar is exploring this idea of waiting, of embracing the things and people in life that slow us down, and letting the christmas tree up until the end of January! 😉 We are people of rush, from one event to the next, when maybe He really shows up in the quiet waiting. I like the word curiosity, it breathes hope with it quietly. And if it helps I embraced your idea of a book a month and it was so good for me. Thank you
It always amazes me how our lives, while so different, often flow in sync. I set similar goals and found them helpful. Especially the fasting ones. but other goals I didn’t come close to even recognizing much less attempting to start much less meeting them. This year, as I mediate on a word for the year (release (not controling), Jesus being greater, Connectedness) I feel Him saying – walk with me and watch the year unfold. See what I am doing. Don’t take more on you. Watch me. Your words in this post summed it up beautifully!
How am I facing 2022? Planting flowers. Because then I know that, whatever else happens, there will be flowers.
Listen to this song sometime… https://youtu.be/yEyGjFgTD-4
This year, I’m facing this year with a new goal of spending less time on Instagram and more time reading good books and Daughters of Promise magazine. I also plan on spending more time in the Word.
Exploring Ezekiel – that will be interesting for you! I read through my Bible every year, and every year I feel so sorry for poor Ezekiel! He had to do so many strange things… Maybe I should feel envious of him though because he heard directly from God and had no question as to what he was supposed to do. My synopsis is usually something like this: Sometimes God asks scary things of us, but He is there!
When I read your post I realized that’s how I do life, “by watching to see what comes”. And then taking it as it comes. Which also make me think of Jesus’ words, “Take no thought for the morrow”.
I feel like I’m entering 2022 with….hesitation. I just don’t know how to feel about it. I want to have goals and plans, but I don’t know how to plan for daily struggles. So it’s just a one moment at time kind of vision.
Oh how I do understand the condemning voices in your head. And when they aren’t from the God of the Bible but instead from people who are supposed to love him and me…