In my last post, I said, “There’s been holiday cheer and church grief and a scheduled hospital intake for my foster son. Someday I will tell you more about these things.” My next three posts will wear those titles.
The decorations above are at my sister-in-law’s house. And this post contains an affiliate link.
Here are some holiday highlights from December-January:
- Christmas with my family
- My dad’s hamburgers
- A new foster nephew to meet
- Sweet gifts from people who love us – a plate of homemade cookies, gift cards, a hot chocolate basket
- Caroling for beloved neighbors
- A candy-bar-and-book exchange with extended family – delightful!
- Finishing our family’s Advent calendar. Our highlight is always the drive to look at Christmas lights, in our PJ’s, while eating party mix and cookies
- Traveling to spend time with Ryan’s family
- New Year’s Eve with appetizers, grilled wings, great chips and dip
- Pizza on New Year’s Day
- Watching my children reconnect with their cousins
- Praising God for loved ones’ improved health
Also, I feel like I owe you an honest update on my goals for last year, 2021. Remember this?
Confession time for real.
I lasted about five or six months of this gorgeous plan I set for myself, and then I am sorry to say that three things happened. A) I said good-bye to a child, and the world caved in for a while and I couldn’t remember the point of it. B) A set of painful experiences closed the Bible to me for a time. I heard condemning voices in my head when I tried to read it. C) I realized that Shari is really good at short term goals, really bad at 12-month goals.
So I learned. I took a lick and a promise at some of it, and some I flubbed entirely. I am trying to be both honest and kind here.
Which means that if you’re an old friend and I didn’t reach out to you in June, you’re not alone.
I am gaining back some ground with Scripture. I am trying a mix of:
- Taking a break
- Exploring lesser quoted books like Ezekiel ???? – actually kind of works
- Listening to the Bible on audio, which helps me focus
- Taking a Bible study overview in a Sunday school class (Search the Word by the Daily Grace Co.)
- Praying through my feelings and resistance
But no big goals for 2022. Instead, I am facing my fears about the coming year by being curious instead of hopeful. That is, by watching to see what comes, instead of naming-and-going-after. I’m finding it difficult to stand in the waiting place of wanting specific things from God, myself, and the other persons in my life. And so I am waiting more openhandedly. It has its challenges and drawbacks, but it’s what I can do for now. Be curious.
I’m not sure if I’m making sense to anyone but myself.
But here I am, watching to see what comes.
How are you facing 2022?