Date night conversation starters

I am aware that for every one of you who said “refreshing” on my last post, there were probably three or four who thought “alarming.” So thank you for being gentle. I’m not brewing up any more of it at the moment, and I wasn’t saying that doubt is a thing to be glorified or sought out. It comes, that’s all. And Jesus is still good.

Confession: After you’ve been married a few years, it’s easy to go on dates and talk about nothing but issues. You know. What are we going to do about this, how could we fix that, what about the kids.

This time The Boss and I planned ahead to just enjoy each other, not dive into decision making, problem solving, or task scheduling. I put some questions in a jar for us to draw from, to get our thinking going. There’s still so much to learn and to love about this boy I married.

What are a few things you would enjoy being asked to do?

What do you fear happening to our family?

Do you wish I would ____________?

What are you praying for?

What’s a story of something you did in childhood with a sibling – a story I haven’t heard yet?

What are your favorite things about us?

If you had a chance to do one piece of your life over, what would it be?

What’s the most ridiculous thing you did as a teenager?

Who are your closest friends? What friendship would you like to grow?

What’s your earliest memory?

Can you describe each of our children in three words?

If this was our last night together, what would you really want me to know?

We had our date last evening, since that’s what worked for us. Tonight is a fancy shrimp dinner with our kiddos, complete with goblets and place cards. I might recycle some of the questions and see what they would answer. A little dangerous, I know, especially “What’s a story of something you did in childhood with a sibling – a story I haven’t heard yet?” Do I even want that information?

I’m not a person who gushes about the people dearest to me. But I love this man more than anything else in the world, and considering how I feel about chocolate and children, that’s saying a lot.

And – Since I can’t share Ferrero Rocher online, here’s a readable gift for each of you. I think it’s the sweetest love story I’ve ever read, and I want to be just like them when I grow up. {From the Washington Post: A 73-Year Union}

Happy Valentine’s Day!

{Here’s a printable version if you want it – Date Night Questions.}

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Mary Yoder
7 years ago

I was one who said “refreshing” on your last post. Far from alarming!
Mary Yoder

7 years ago

I think there’s something dishonest about never expressing doubt; and yet, it makes a person feel vulnerable to question (especially publicly). I felt the same way when I wrote my recent post on heartbreak. But facing our doubts can help us struggle through to faith, as you said.

Thanks for the date night ideas! 😉

Heather Nicodemus
7 years ago

7 years ago

Ahh perfect timing! We have a few getaway days ahead of us and these are great questions for a road trip! Thanks for sharing them!

Joanna Yoder
7 years ago

I will be coming back to these questions! Thanks!

That story is making me cry. What a testimony to our culture!!!

7 years ago

your creativity and intentionality are inspiring to my sagging brain.

And just FYI, the last time our family did a formal dinner together we ended up putting away 2 less goblets than what were put on the table. 🙁

Regina Martin
7 years ago

aw that’s so sweet and faithful! keep celebrating with your kids….they’ll always remember it!

7 years ago

Love your questions! As a mom of five busy, noisy children, I often lack any kind of creative thoughts in the date/marriage department.

I also appreciated your last post. I think more alarming than honesty is ignoring or stuffing those questions and feelings. And your word picture at the end…yes. 🙂

7 years ago

Love the questions!
In regards to the former ‘doubts’. I read both posts today. 🙂
Isn’t it true that it is in the middle off the doubts, the fears, the insecurities, the pride, the brokenness — that Jesus ministers his love and peace.
Out of those very places springs a strong and beautiful spirit as we let Him show grace to us in our hopelessness.
During our journey with infertility, I had a lot of doubts about God being good to me. And there have been other times in life as well, when the strong winds blew hard on my small boat!
But through the experience, I began to love the Lord for who He is, not just for what He can give me, or take away from me. If that makes any sense! There is a huge difference!!!
And I began to see ‘Mothering’ in a whole new light! 🙂 My paradigm shifted. So many souls need nurturing, often adult ones as well. 🙂
It would be alarming to me if we never have questions.
Although we will never have all the answers here and now. Sometimes we must trust and believe what He says is true. He honors a faith as small as a mustard seed.

7 years ago

We were wondering if “sitting in companionable silence” is approved for a date night?

Thanks for your help!

Parents of a newborn

Anna Kuhns
7 years ago

Shari, you will never love your husband “too much.” Enjoy him to the fullest! We never know when will be our “last day” on earth. Being a widow, I love to see couples “dote” on each other. The pain I experience is when I know couples are not kind to each other… so I say “love on.” Blessings!!!

7 years ago

love this idea for date nights

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