An open letter to the Santa-Jesus

Dear Santa-Jesus,

Hi, it’s me standing here at the end of 2021.

I have believed in you ever since I was a little girl, and I am so happy I can say with confidence that I am on your Nice list again this year.

I have reviewed my list of deeds, and the good definitely far outweighs the bad. In fact, on the weeks when I slipped a misdeed, I made sure to compensate with a few extra good deeds like prayer and community service and making food for people, just to be sure that it balanced on the right side.

It makes my blood shiver to think of what would happen if I were ever caught Naughty.

You know, I am so glad that I kept my faith in you. I know a lot of people who lost out, who roll their eyes at any mention of you, and who now think that belief in you is only for babies, but I can tell by the way you faithfully reward me that you are real.

I just love your big red bag of presents.

I mean, how good and merry and bright could you be without carrying that abundance around? How would we know you are good unless you show up on schedule and lavishly dump your gifts on us, right on cue? How clever that you let us preorder the ones we want! Saves so much hassle, I am sure.

As far as my wish list this December, I’m going to keep it simple for you. I just want everything to go really smoothly for me in the next year. No big upsets or diagnoses or bumps in the road, nothing that makes me uncomfortable or pained. You know. Just basic niceness, all year long. It’s like the gift that keeps on giving. I don’t think that should be too hard for you to manage, right?

I’ll make sure to leave out the cookies.

Wait, what?

What do you mean, there isn’t a Nice list?

I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’d had this deal going on my whole life, my niceness in exchange for your gifts. I mean, you can’t give good gifts to everybody or it wouldn’t mean anything. I would be on the same level with all the—

Okay, I’m a little confused but I’m going to have to end this conversation. I think we talked about all the important stuff. I’ll see you tonight, okay, along with your presents? Pretty please?

I’ve been really good…

– A child