A Grimm Tale for Our Time

But Mom, I wish there WERE no chores.

Oh really? Oh really, small son? Then listen to my tale…

*****

In the high and far-off times, oh best beloved, before iPhones, before sliced bread, before Adam and Eve, God created two special people: the very first man and the very first woman.

Now the man’s name was Doofus and the woman’s Dilly, and they decided right from the get-go that chores were for the birds; they would have none of them.

So they sat in their beautiful garden.

And they sat.

And they sat.

After a time, Doofus said “Sure am hungry. Maybe I should rustle up some food.” But he thought of the work of hunting an animal or picking a basket of fruit. He thought about skinning and hulling and slicing and frying. He thought about these chores. And after a great deal of thought he decided—he’d sit a while longer.

After a time, Dilly said “It’s getting frosty. Maybe I should sew myself a dress to protect me from the cold night air.” But she thought about gathering the materials, and weaving the fabric, and stitching the seams. She thought about these chores and decided—not to bother.

And so they sat.

And they sat.

Doofus starved to death, Dilly died of frostbite, and God the Ever Creative Innovator started over again with a man named Adam and a woman named Eve. He put His two new people into the garden and the first thing He said to them was “Children, you have chores!”

*****

Moral: Necessity is the mother of invention.

*****

I know, I know. I committed the unpardonable in letting my main characters self-destruct. Don’t read too much into it.

I need a better moral–a lighter, funnier twist instead of dark cynicism. Suggestions? “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”? “Clothes do not make the man”? 🙂