When was the last time you sat down and wrote a list of the things you do well as a mom? I made one of mine, the same day I made my tongue-in-cheek-wanna-be-list-of-semi-failures-and-full-regrets. And I surprised myself by again making fifteen items without difficulty. To tell you the truth this list is harder to share than the list of things I don’t do well.
- I plan great birthday parties and make their cakes to order.
- My children come easily to me with their little questions, fears, and problems.
- I tease my children and tickle them and joke with them. We laugh a lot.
- I introduce them to the amazing world of literature, and they are captivated.
- I establish fun traditions: pizza Saturday nights, pancakes and popcorn on Sundays, holiday treats.
- I apologize.
- I sing.
If you can, I’d love to hear from you. What do you most enjoy as a mom? What do you do well? Some of you will be more uncomfortable with this exercise than with the “unreachables” list I recommended first… But if you are not up to sharing publicly, may I suggest you do it still, on your own? You will be surprised.
When I was all done, I made a final list—
Parenting Essentials I Never Want to Live Without
Love: My children are precious to me. I treat them with care.
Commitment: I’m not leaving this place. These are my people.
Joy: I do not enjoy every aspect of mothering, but I work to incorporate happiness into my life and my children’s.
Discipline: I do not allow my children to live without consequences.
Forgiveness: This is how we make sense of our many mistakes. Jesus is the Redeemer!
Shared Time and Interest: We invest in each other’s lives and enjoy time together.
Character: Together, we are being shaped into the image of Jesus.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for blessing me with your words. And before I stop talking on the subject, I want to give a shout-out to the many women from whom I am slowly learning motherhood. First of all, to my own Good Mom, and to my mother-in-law, and to my many wonderful sisters and sisters-in-law—some who do not have children yet but all of whom are beautiful examples of mother-love… And to my friends, some of the most capable and committed mothers I know… And to my single or childless friends. I know who you are. You too are mothers—joining forces to nurture the young lives around you. Many of you signed up on purpose for a life wrapped up in small ones who call other women “Mommy.” You are amazing, and my children are the richer for having you.
*****
And no, I haven’t forgotten the question I asked you. What do you do well? What do you enjoy most as a mom?
I enjoyed reading over your shoulder here. I affirm that you have written truthfully and modestly about yourself.
I have actually done this exercise myself in the past. In fact, I have to repeat it every so often to keep some perspective.
A few things that I like and do well with as a mom are:
– I love to have fun with my kids and planning fun surprises. We laugh often and it’s usually heartfelt
-it’s easy for me to be flexible and spontaneous.
-I can’t stay mad for longer than 10 minutes
-messes are ok with me if we’re either learning or being creative together
-I let my kids comb my hair.
My husband and I like to think about our strengths and weaknesses in parenting and then see ourselves as a team. It helps me not to sweat my weaknesses quite so much when I know that he brings his strengths into our family to compensate for my greatest weakness and vise versa. (this does not mean that I shouldn’t be growing into a more balanced parent)
p.s. maybe this comment should come to an end now, eh?
I am spontaneous–sounds better than disorganized.
I am grace-oriented and tender with them.
I enjoy being with my children.
We also let our children choose their birthday supper and cake. Thankfully, they’re not too picky when the bike looks less than perfect.
hmm. I’d have to think awhile to come up with more. I thank you for these posts on mothering. They were balanced and encouraging.
What a good thing to do sometimes. I’m going to make myself a list, but off the top of my head….
1. I read good, true books to them. Books that I think might be over their heads, but they love them. I also read all the childhood books constantly!! (Can you tell, we all love to read!)
2. I respect their Daddy very, very much, and we are very in love! (15 years on Thurs.!)
3. I play with them, especially wild outdoor games like “Wolf”.
4. I involve them in whatever I am doing, and take time for their many projects that slow me down!
5. I try to just smile at them a lot.
6. I try to give them many compliments.
7. I work hard at communication.
8. I teach them to work, and do their best. My daughters thank me for teaching them to clean, and keep it clean.
9. Like you, I apologize. A lot, swallowing my pride.