Date night conversation starters

I am aware that for every one of you who said “refreshing” on my last post, there were probably three or four who thought “alarming.” So thank you for being gentle. I’m not brewing up any more of it at the moment, and I wasn’t saying that doubt is a thing to be glorified or sought out. It comes, that’s all. And Jesus is still good.


Confession: After you’ve been married a few years, it’s easy to go on dates and talk about nothing but issues. You know. What are we going to do about this, how could we fix that, what about the kids.

This time The Boss and I planned ahead to just enjoy each other, not dive into decision making, problem solving, or task scheduling. I put some questions in a jar for us to draw from, to get our thinking going. There’s still so much to learn and to love about this boy I married.

What are a few things you would enjoy being asked to do?

What do you fear happening to our family?

Do you wish I would ____________?

What are you praying for?

What’s a story of something you did in childhood with a sibling – a story I haven’t heard yet?

What are your favorite things about us?

If you had a chance to do one piece of your life over, what would it be?

What’s the most ridiculous thing you did as a teenager?

Who are your closest friends? What friendship would you like to grow?

What’s your earliest memory?

Can you describe each of our children in three words?

If this was our last night together, what would you really want me to know?

We had our date last evening, since that’s what worked for us. Tonight is a fancy shrimp dinner with our kiddos, complete with goblets and place cards. I might recycle some of the questions and see what they would answer. A little dangerous, I know, especially “What’s a story of something you did in childhood with a sibling – a story I haven’t heard yet?” Do I even want that information?

I’m not a person who gushes about the people dearest to me. But I love this man more than anything else in the world, and considering how I feel about chocolate and children, that’s saying a lot.

And – Since I can’t share Ferrero Rocher online, here’s a readable gift for each of you. I think it’s the sweetest love story I’ve ever read, and I want to be just like them when I grow up. {From the Washington Post: A 73-Year Union}

Happy Valentine’s Day!


{Here’s a printable version if you want it – Date Night Questions.}

A real life riddle

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We sat on the couch in the late winter, 7:45 am, the boys just out the door for school.

Kelly was still sleeping upstairs. One twin sat on my husband’s lap, and the other hung out on the floor nearby. Ryan savored his coffee. I savored the precious moments of quiet, with Baby snuggled against me.

Suddenly we heard piano keys being played in the office, tink-tink-tinga-ding. We looked at each other. What in the world?! With every family member accounted for, who was in there playing? It sounded for all the world like Kelly goofing off, but she would have had to pass through the living room to get in there—and the playing went on. Tinga-tink-tink-ting.

Ryan went to look. I waited, trying not to breathe so I could hear.

What do you think he saw?

A slightly less ethical answer

(Is it alright to do something your husband would not strictly approve of if he won’t find out?)


I don’t know if it’s alright or not; I just know what I do. Practically speaking, I vote yes—in the stealthy disposal of items that have outlived their usefulness.

If I asked him, he would say “I might need it later; store it in the x by the z.” But meanwhile, it’s sitting in the w (as in the way), and I keep stubbing my toe on it, and if I removed it he would never notice. Promise. In the interest of scientific probability I’ve tested it in various circumstances with identical results.

Now what do you think?

Are there big things and little things in marriage?

“One little time you pull out a prop, and where does it stop? Where does it stop?” *

(Oh. Hi there, honey.)


* Fiddler on the Roof, Jerry Bock
It was fun hearing your votes. Especially since you disagreed.

An ethical question

Is it alright

to do something your husband would not strictly approve of

if he won’t find out?


I can see the shock on your faces, and it’s making me giggle.
Yes? No? Sometimes? Of course? Only if…?
Just relax now. And vote.
And explain yourself tomorrow, like me.

“Why I wish I were a Mennonite”

Confession: This almost seems egotistical for a Mennonite to link to. But a friend told me about it in the last month and I was blessed. I think we could probably take a moment to hear what Mr. Taylor had to say–to celebrate what we’re good at without forgetting we don’t have it all–

What do you think? Is he representing the Mennonites you know? What do you want to be known for?

Why I Wish I Were a Mennonite
by Aaron Taylor