She started life as Ms. Hyundai Elantra, teal in color, a very decent economy car. By the time she joined the Zooks, she had seen a few things in her day, had the nicks and squeaks to prove it.
The odd untimely mishap has of course occurred since then.
There was the time Ryan I mean to say, a fast curve at high velocity spilled a gallon of goat’s milk in the backseat of Ms. Elantra. The only word I can think of is putrid-with-rapidly-increasing-pungency. We sprayed the carpet with a surefire odor killer, with the interesting result of mingling English Garden Paradise and Scarcely Veiled Spoilage.
There was also the time Shari a small Zook female on her way to Guys Mills took out a large white-tailed female on her way to greener grass. Ms. Elantra suffered much from the shrill vocalizations of Female A, but more from the impact of Female B, who actually went airborne. We removed the car’s hood and swapped in a burgundy replacement. Teal and burgundy. Groovy.
And there is also the sad Rust Issue, necessitating hours of sanding, patching, and smoothing by Ms. Elantra’s owner. She now sports a gray swipe above her wheel well.
Besides this, there is the unfortunate reality that Ms. Elantra is the hook upon which her owner hangs his many hats.
Mr. House Renovator packs all his tools in her trunk, partly to have them handy in his perambulations, and partly to protect them from Mr. House Renovator, Jr.
Mr. Volunteer Fire Fighter throws all his gear in her back seat, so it’ll be available at a moment’s notice.
Mr. Tech Guy stores expensive spare computer parts in various additional nooks, because they need to be dropped off here n there.*
And finally, there is the fact that Mrs. House Renovator, Volunteer Fire Fighter, and Tech Guy, though not as polygamous as she sounds, is notoriously unskilled at keeping vehicles vacuumed. This leads to a surprising collection of gravel, aging leaves, and dried mud attractively displayed throughout.
Now. The other day I agreed to transport my beautiful, chic Lancaster friend Tresa one mile down the road to meet her son. And through a strange twist of fates, mostly my own lack of forethought, I found myself transporting her in
Jesus has really adorable ways of weaning us of pride.
*I suppose you could use this information to steal the “expensive spare computer parts.” Oh well. If you snitch, take the car too.