You guys had good thoughts. Thank you! Renee asked an excellent question (“What do you hope Facebook could be for you that it wasn’t before?”) and Cheryl described most clearly the qualms I felt myself when I was in it.

Here is why I hated facebook:

  • Competition
    • You can slant yourself any way you like, and the one who looks coolest wins.
  • Pressure
    • Stay tuned or you’ll miss something. Say yes please please pretty please to five friend requests. Care about all these people. Think of something great to say. Update frequently so others can watch your life over your shoulder.
  • Triviality
    • Conversation is reduced to the most short, silly, and meaningless. Lol.
    • And connections aren’t always as deep as they seem. Ouch.

Here is why I would think of rejoining:

  • Presence
    • I can think of two family relationships that my presence there could significantly improve.
    • My husband is a sort of virtual widower. I’d like to show up so he can be married to somebody. With a tag.
  • Network
    • Sometimes I miss important pieces of communication because people relied on facebook and I wasn’t there.
  • Influence
    • Walking away rarely changes anything—how much less standing back and throwing stones? If I care about my people, why not make the investment of actually showing up in the places they do? Could I join those who fight the pressure/competition/triviality from the inside?

Hmm. If I rejoin, there are several policies I’d have to have in place for sanity’s sake. First, my sister has to join too. Hi sis. The pressure is starting already. Second, if I recognize your name you can be my friend; no more agonizing over degrees of intimacy and personal interest. I can customize my feed to focus on real-life friends. Third, I keep my blog out of it. I love when you guys share my stuff there, but I don’t plan to myself. I think it would split your input in two, and I so much prefer your thoughtful comments here to any number of laconic “likes” there. Fourth and finally, anytime I am given a chance I chose real life over virtual. Yes to a ladies group, yes to a prayer meeting, yes to coffee with a friend, yes to sharing in Sunday school about the things I face. Connection happens best in tangible places.

Enough said. I’m thinking on it… but probably not for long because my hubby says Go.


(Which brings me to another question. Do you always do what yours tells you?)

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9 years ago

GROAN!!! I think not. Eh, which being interpreted means, ‘gag!’ I think we need a face to face talk. 🙂

9 years ago

I think if you can handle blogging, you’ll do just fine with fb. A trivial person can be be trivial anywhere. An insecure person will feel insecure in any public forum. You can create a totally false identity anywhere.

And like I said, you do well with these issues on your personal blog, so why would they be so much worse on fb?

p.s. I ALWAYS listen to my husband 🙂

9 years ago
Reply to  Shaunda

“A trivial person can be trivial anywhere.”

Ain’t that the truth.

Mama Zook
9 years ago

My husband likes it so much more now that I added his name to mine on FB and he’s able to read it whenever he has a few minutes and wants to know the latest. He’s also interested in current events! LOL And I have to add, I have unfriended a few that I just couldn’t handle their drama or language and games I block…I do not have anything I can give to anyone for their farm!! Hopefully, welcome back!

9 years ago

Very balanced. I like what you’ve said. And my husband says, “Let’s don’t” do facebook, so there’s my answer. It does pull sometimes. Like you said, when I miss something important bc I didn’t have it. God bless your decision. . . and your submission. 😉

9 years ago

I hope you share your FB experience. I’d love to know how it works out for you and whether your goals are met.

I’m not on but have been tempted, for a few of the reasons that you expressed. Maybe most of all as a way to keep up with the youth from our church – but maybe then I’d just be more discouraged! At this point, I feel like I need to learn how to cut back my screen time – not add to it!

But please keep up the conversation of how to relate to media!

And please don’t allow FB to change your blogging!

9 years ago

I am on, after a friend encouraged me in that direction!!! And of course I have a Tech hubby, too!!!
I Love my Sister’s group on FB. We talk pretty much every day!!!
I do agree about the face to face connection!!! Nothing can or should take the place of that!!
I also tighten the hatch pretty hard. Only those friends who consistently put interesting or encouraging words are allowed on my feed. Otherwise they are hidden or deleted. I don’t want to listen to needless chatter, and I certainly don’t desire trashy links!!!!
I feel strongly there are lots of dangers and maybe hidden temptations with social media, but if we are going to allow the young people to have it, then some of us older ones better be aware of what is happening and care!!!! 🙂
Yes, keep us posted!!!
Thanks for your honest questions!!!

9 years ago

“Do you always do what yours tells you?”
In relation to Facebook, yes. (See comment #1)

9 years ago
Reply to  joshnisley

Hear, hear!

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