You guys had good thoughts. Thank you! Renee asked an excellent question (“What do you hope Facebook could be for you that it wasn’t before?”) and Cheryl described most clearly the qualms I felt myself when I was in it.

Here is why I hated facebook:

  • Competition
    • You can slant yourself any way you like, and the one who looks coolest wins.
  • Pressure
    • Stay tuned or you’ll miss something. Say yes please please pretty please to five friend requests. Care about all these people. Think of something great to say. Update frequently so others can watch your life over your shoulder.
  • Triviality
    • Conversation is reduced to the most short, silly, and meaningless. Lol.
    • And connections aren’t always as deep as they seem. Ouch.

Here is why I would think of rejoining:

  • Presence
    • I can think of two family relationships that my presence there could significantly improve.
    • My husband is a sort of virtual widower. I’d like to show up so he can be married to somebody. With a tag.
  • Network
    • Sometimes I miss important pieces of communication because people relied on facebook and I wasn’t there.
  • Influence
    • Walking away rarely changes anything—how much less standing back and throwing stones? If I care about my people, why not make the investment of actually showing up in the places they do? Could I join those who fight the pressure/competition/triviality from the inside?

Hmm. If I rejoin, there are several policies I’d have to have in place for sanity’s sake. First, my sister has to join too. Hi sis. The pressure is starting already. Second, if I recognize your name you can be my friend; no more agonizing over degrees of intimacy and personal interest. I can customize my feed to focus on real-life friends. Third, I keep my blog out of it. I love when you guys share my stuff there, but I don’t plan to myself. I think it would split your input in two, and I so much prefer your thoughtful comments here to any number of laconic “likes” there. Fourth and finally, anytime I am given a chance I chose real life over virtual. Yes to a ladies group, yes to a prayer meeting, yes to coffee with a friend, yes to sharing in Sunday school about the things I face. Connection happens best in tangible places.

Enough said. I’m thinking on it… but probably not for long because my hubby says Go.


(Which brings me to another question. Do you always do what yours tells you?)